Christmas Eve
December 24, 200

What do you want for Christmas? This past Thursday, at our morning breakfast group, I asked each of our members to go around the circle and answer this question. Now children can tell you want in a heartbeat. But for us that morning, it took a while for us to gather our thoughts. And slowly, quietly, each of us took our turn. I want to be able to believe again, one person said. I want to be able to wake up each morning to see the face of my beloved, said another. I want to good health. I want my kids to be safe. I want peace. I want goodwill. I want hope. And so it went.

As the emotion flowed, and as the circle came back to me, I realized I had asked a question that I was not quite prepared to answer myself. A few days ago, one of my own children had asked me, Dad, what do you want for Christmas? And to my utter surprise, it brought a lump to my throat. It got me wondering. What do I really want for Christmas? What do I really desire?

I dare say Christmas has this capacity to touch our desire in its deepest place. That’s why, I suspect we spend so much energy this time of year, making wish lists aplenty, checking it twice, trying to find out who’s naughty or nice. What we really want, what we desire most, though, many times, never comes to light. What we long for, more often than not, is a far cry from what we really need.

And herein lies the irony. For it was desire that gave birth to the first Christmas. Not our desire. God’s desire. God desired the world so much, that God gave God’s only Son. And so deep and broad and high was God’s desire that it could not help but spark human desire: In the breast of the young maiden Mary from Nazareth; in her betrothed, the young carpenter, Joseph; in the bedazzled shepherds; in the heavenly hosts; a burning fire of desire that reaches through time and space into our hearts, on this holy night.

So dear people of God, let me ask you this: What do you want for Christmas this year? What do you desire this night? What does your heart say to you? What is it that you have always wanted, but have been afraid to ask? What it is that you have always desired but have never given yourself permission to feel it? Could it be that what you really want, what you truly desire is the movement of God’s desire in you? Could it be this is the true gift, the best gift God longs to give you this Christmas?

There is the beautiful word in Spanish used this time of year, feliz, as in Feliz Navidad. Feliz is derived from the Latin, felicitas, from which we get our word felicity. And its meaning goes far beyond our word happy or merry. Felcitas is not just happiness, it is the source of happiness. It is joy itself. It is desire incarnate.

And as I try to sort out what I truly want this Christmas, it is feliz my heart desires. Feliz Navidad. Joyful Birth of Jesus. Feliz, felicitas, which made the shepherds quake, and the angels sing. This is what I want. And somehow I sense this is what God wants, too, I sense this what God desires for each and every one of us: Felicitas, felicitas of this holy night, this burning fire of joy, this glowing desire in our souls.

The Masai in Tanzania have a blessing, which I extend to you in closing:

Receive this holy fire.
Make your lives like this fire.
A holy life that is seen.
A life of God that is seen.
A life that has no end.
A life that darkness can not overcome.
May this light in your grow.
Light a fire that is worthy of your heads.
Light a fire that is worthy of your children.
Light a fire that is worthy of your fathers.
Light a fire that is worthy of your mothers.
Light a fire that is worthy of God.
Now go in peace.
May the Almighty protect you
Today and all days. Amen.